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15 Characters Meme: answers

First off, the list:

1. Regina Mills | The Evil Queen (Once Upon A Time)
2. Second Doctor
3. Kiy Uvanov (Doctor Who/Kaldor City)
4. Donna Moss (The West Wing)
5. Rupert Giles (Buffy)
6. Harry Pearce (Spooks)
7. Steel (Sapphire & Steel)
8. Zen (Blake's 7)
9. Romana II (Doctor Who)
10. Fred Burkle (Angel)
11. Tegan Jovanka (Doctor Who)
12. Dayna Mellanby (Blake's 7)
13. Mary Poppins
14. Holly (Red Dwarf)
15. Violet Crawley (Downton Abbey)

From scotscookie: Uvanov, Zen and Holly are putting on a version of Hamlet... which parts would they take?

I did consider this question for about two seconds before I realised that the only possible answer is that Holly is enacting Hamlet, for reasons, and playing all the parts himself, with appropriate hats/wigs/flowers/sheets. It goes something like this:

Holly (in sheet): Wooooo!

Holly: (with toupee) What the hell is that? It looks like my old Dad!

Holly: (in sheet) Hamlet, I've been murdered! Woooo!

Holly: (with toupee) Loads of stuff happens, blah, blah, blah de blah. I CAN'T DECIDE!!

Holly (with flowers in hair): Glub glub glub

Holly: (off screen) Aargh, aargh, ouch!

Holly: (himself) And, so, basically, everyone in Denmark is dead. Sort of. The end.

Uvanov: What is this idiot computer blithering on about?

Holly: Blithering? This is art! Shakesapple, you know. Him. Famous dead bloke. Wrote "Romeo and Julius" and Crossroads.

Uvanov: Art?

Holly: Well, all right, the Ladybird abridged version, but it's still art, isn't it?

Uvanov: And is there a point to this?

Holly: Yeah. Course there is. A really good one.

Uvanov: What?

Holly: I dunno, I've forgotten. Prob'ly something about fate and destiny and making your blooming mind up, and, oh, yeah, funny thing: everybody's dead, Kiy. The whole universe. Again. Can't turn your back for a second, can you? Zen here seems to think it's your fault. Well, partly, but he says the rest were psychotic, so we thought we'd try you first.

I'm also very distracted by the idea of a Red Dwarf/Blake's 7/Kaldor City crossover, because it's a beautiful idea, it really is.

From brutti_ma_buoni: Holly and Tegan are getting married, because Reasons. Regina is helping, Mary Poppins is hindering. What's the why and do they make it to the altar/beyond?

I... think the key point here is that with Mary Poppins trying to prevent the match, it's never going to happen. Regina's pretty powerful, but I don't think it's an even fight. It's hard to imagine her wanting a senile computer to marry a 1980s air hostess, either, but presumably, as the question says, there are Reasons. A love spell, or a curse, or Aliens Who Want Them To Do It, or something Holly made up (because it'd be a laugh, right?), but I'm sure Mary Poppins will sort it out, and everyone will be relieved.

2, 4, 6, 8 (The Second Doctor, Donna Moss, Harry Pearce, Zen), we're a very random cheer squad. Who's the captain? Who's the belle of the ball? Who's the anchor underpinning it all? Does the pyramid fall down?

I think it's safe to say, with the Second Doctor involved that the pyramid falls down a lot. Donna must surely be belle of the ball, and probably the captain, too since it's hard to imagine anyone else knows much about cheerleading, except possibly Zen, in a purely theoretical sense. Harry Pearce is definitely the anchor. Unless he has to wear a cheerleading outfit, in which case there is no way on this earth you're getting him involved and he'll just co-ordinate from the sidelines.

Violet Crawley is made supreme ruler of the globe. How do we feel, we minions?

But this is just a statement of fact, isn't it? (At least, as far as she's concerned.) :lol: I think that we minions would be expected to feel suitably grateful. Mind, the idea of Violet sorting out the entire world is definitely entertaining...

From persiflage_1: Zen, Romana, Tegan and Dayna are required to host a party - does it come off, and if so, what disasters befall?

I think it'd definitely be an unusual party, but probably quite fun. Romana'd be splendid at organising, Tegan at pointing out things that might be a bit too unusual for the guests, Zen could help with research, music, sending out the invitations, and Dayna would provide the fireworks, which is where the inevitable disaster would happen. But, don't worry, Romana would be equal to anything, naturally.

From ladymercury_10: Steel and Fred Burkle get signed up for ballroom dancing lessons. How does it go?

I think this depends on whether Steel has some reason to be there that involves him grudgingly going along with the dancing thing, or whether he's solely there to put some time anomaly right, in which case Fred's just picked on the worst partner in the world. (It is, aesthetically, a pretty image, though - if you could get Steel to co-operate, that is.)

Uvanov finds a dinosaur. What do they do, and does Giles agree with this plan?

Somehow, I'd suspect that for the most part, Giles is never going to agree with a plan made up by Uvanov. If the dinosaur is harmless, Giles would probably want to at least try and find a way of not killing it, or sending it back to its own time first. Uvanov's plan would involve hiring someone snarky and untrustworthy to shoot it. He'd no doubt keep demanding of Giles that they do this, and then - when the more humane options inevitably go hideously wrong - spend the rest of the time complaining that he told Giles this would happen and they should have shot the thing in the first place. While running away. Luckily, Giles does know quite a number of people who'd be able to handle a rampaging dinosaur when it happens.

Mind, actually, Uvanov would probably assume it was a robot dinosaur or something, and confusion would reign. It's not as if that's out of the question for the Buffyverse, either...

From [personal profile] quarter_to_five: What is the subject that will keep Steel and Romana up until five in the morning, going crazy, anonamously arguing with each other on the internet?

Time, obviously. Although it is hard to imagine Steel using the internet. He'd have to get Silver or someone to deal with the technological bits, so this is no doubt a Serious Argument about the End of the Entire Universe if she doesn't stop medding, but with inexplicable interruptions of flirting, annoyingly sparkly backgrounds, and LOLcats. Romana enjoyed the whole thing terribly and took absolutely no notice of his dire warnings. She and Silver are now following each other on several sites. Steel isn't using the internet again.

From [personal profile] john_amend_all: Giles, Tegan, the Second Doctor, and Dayna challenge the Knightmare dungeon. Which one wears the helmet while the other three shout advice? And does their quest succeed?

I think this is an excellent team to navigate the dungeon. Naturally, Dayna would wear the helmet. Whether or not they'd succeed depends on her not getting too impatient to move on at any point, so I think they'd fail - but they'd get nearly to the end before Dayna met a horrible fate.

Uvanov is trying to redecorate; is Mary Poppins a help or a hindrance?

She'd get the job done quickly, there is that. She'd probably want to sort out more than redecorating, though, and I don't think Uvanov'd like being reformed in any way. In fact she's so practically perfect in every way, there's only conclusion he could come to, isn't there? She must be a killer robot and he should get someone to blow her up! Mary Poppins will not approve. It can't end well.

Why is Romana covered in cake and chained to Donna Moss?

These things happen to Time Lords from time to time. I think this would be relatively civilised, provided Donna doesn't have to explain to Josh at any point what exactly she was doing chained to a naked woman and covered in cake in the middle of the White House. She'd never hear the end of it...

From sallymn: Harry Pearce, Steel and Romana have to rescue Fred from certain doom. How doomed is Fred?

I think Fred's well and truly rescued. But for Romana, I'd be a little worried in case one of the other two felt the need to sacrifice her in the course of the rescue (for the greater good), but Romana won't stand for things like that, if they're unnecessary, and obviously they would be with someone so intelligent co-ordinating the plan. (This could well be what led to the irate internet argument, I suppose.)

From swordznsorcery: Regina, Steel & Mary Poppins are pirates. Who is the captain, who is first mate, and who is best suited to navigate? Will they terrorise the seas, or will the seas just point and laugh?

Well, given reason, I'm sure Regina would do some terrorising, but her crew's more than a bit unco-operative. She's obviously Captain, and Mary Poppins is navigating. Steel isn't anything to do with any of this, but you could call him the first mate if you really wanted to. However, if the seas did anything so anthropomorphic and worrying as to point and laugh, Steel would certainly start terrorising them back and put a stop to such behaviour.

Uvanov is standing for parliament. Which political party are they representing?

This canonically true, although I don't think he represented a party, so much as himself and a general wish to see Kaldor City not blown up by anti-robot terrorists or rampaged by killer robots, and, of course, was determined to have the proper level of deviousness, murder and snark maintained.

If he was standing for the current British parliament? Probably the Conservatives, if he has an interest in business. If not, he might just let killer robots rampage about, destroy the current government and put himself in power afterwards.

Harry Pearce & Steel are getting married, and wish to adopt Zen. Is it likely to be a harmonious household?

I think it's probably better that they decided to adopt a sort of sentient computer rather than a child, there is that. And since I'm sure that Harry must be in it for super secret spy reasons and Steel for reasons of defeating time, it's going to be a short-lived and highly cold and pragmatic household.

Giles & Violet Crawley get thrown back in time to 1066 in a freak accident. The fate of England rests on the shoulders of one or both of them. Is history safe?

Well, Violet isn't going to want to see 1066 go the other way. Much as she may disapprove of the French, you can't have ancestors who no doubt came over with the Conqueror and risk kicking the Conqueror out of the country before he's even arrived. Giles would naturally see the possible disastrous consequences of meddling with the timeline (it could be the end of the world! again). However, it does depend what the freak accident is, what sort of demon is involved and if Violet can remember not to interfere with things. I think history's mostly safe, but you can never be too sure. (Although this does now make me think that the time travelling adventures of Rupert Giles and Violet Crawley - possibly a young Violet? - would be huge fun to read. This should be a thing. *nods*)

From astrogirl2: Steel and Mary Poppins wake up together in a perfectly boring, normal house in suburbia. They both have amnesia and don't remember who they are. What conclusions do they draw about their relationship and how they got there? Do they eventually (or rapidly) manage to figure out what's going on?

Well, this sort of thing is just the day job for Steel. I assume that even if they don't work it out (what with the evils of Time and amnesia) and think they're an ordinary married couple (who merely happen to have magic and/or don't ever eat, sleep or drink), I'm sure that Sapphire and Silver will find a way to get them out again. I'm inclined to think Steel and Mary Poppins would manage, though. What they'd make of each other once they had worked it out, I've no idea.

Regina has been following and spying on Romana. Why? Does Romana find out?

A newcomer in Storybrooke! What else would Regina do? And she's not exactly all that unobstrusive about stuff, not really. Romana would spot the interest immediately.

A movie (or, if more suitable, a play) is made about Dayna's life. Uh, one that's made in Dayna's own universe, that is. Which is bound to be different from whatever story Dayna is in in our universe. If that makes sense. What's it like, and how does Dayna feel about how they're depicted?

Hmm, this depends which side it's made by. If made by the Federation, Dayna is a bloodthirsty terrorist, guilty of various atrocities and inventing weapons of mass destruction. Dayna probably counts this as a sign she's doing something right.

If it's made by the rebellion, then Dayna is a plucky heroine! A girl genius brought up in isolation by her brilliant, noble, blind father! Tragically orphaned by the evil Servalan and rescued by the heroic Kerr Avon. She selflessly and bravely blows stuff up all the time and rescues her fellow rebels a lot, especially Tarrant, with whom she rides off into the sunset at the end. (Figuratively speaking.)

If Dayna's survived long enough, she's probably more pissed off at this than the Federation propaganda. Whatever medium films are stored on in the future get mysteriously blown up a lot.

From recessivejean: Donna Moss & Steel have been married for a decade. What ultimately causes their divorce?

I think that was the moment that Steel finally realised he'd yet again woken up in a supposedly normal house in suburbia without remembering who he was. Luckily, the last ten years never actually happened after that. I'm surprised it lasted that long, even so.

Regina, the Second Doctor & Dayna are housemates. What is their most frequent argument about? And which character on the list would they all hope would answer their ad for a fourth housemate, and why?

What doesn't Regina argue about? The Doctor's untidiness, Dayna's tendency to use the kitchen for explosive experiments when she's trying to cook an entirely innocent apple turnover, or the way they keep interfering with her plans, just because she happens to be "evil". It's so unfair! The Doctor might be a help in dealing with her evil plots, but he's hardly ever there, and when he is, it's usually for some inexplicable experiment that needs all three of them to fight the results. Dayna's had enough, though and has already tried several times to shoot Regina. (Magic is pesky in an evil housemate). I mean, it's not as bad as living with Servalan, but it's about the next best thing...

I think the only solution is for them to put that ad in the paper and hope very hard that Mary Poppins responds.

Zen & Holly are stuck in a museum after closing hours. How did that come to pass, and what do they do about it?

Um. It's a technology museum of some sort in the future, and they've been included as exhibits of outdated computers? Zen would probably contact Orac and/or The Liberator if at all possible, and Holly would try the same with Red Dwarf and/or Kryten. Holly would probably hop about to any compatible exhibits and flirt with a fetching but dim ZX Spectrum or something.

From clocketpatch: Steel has decided to bake cookies. Meanwhile, Donna is thwarting a terrorist plot. How are the cookies related?

This was presumably during the ten years of marriage? Donna thwarts terrorists at work by offering them one of Steel's cookies, which turns out to be disastrously inedible because an Element who doesn't eat sometimes has a bit of trouble mastering the culinary arts. Or, if not during the marriage, then the cookies are the source of Time trying to break through! Or possibly time-fighting cookies! It's S&S, after all. And Donna Moss could totally thwart terrorists with cookies. It'd be stopping her colleagues from eating them by mistake first that'd be the difficult part. Sapphire and Steel probably had to go to some effort to get Josh back again afterwards.

The Second Doctor has found a magic crystal which will allow its user to change (temporarily) into any animal they desire. What animal does Two choose?

Oh, he can't decide! He short circuits it by transforming into an elephant, an octopus, a giraffe, and various things and gets stuck as a many-spotted Venusian arfagabiter. This takes some explaining to Jamie and Zoe later.

From oonaseckar: Mary Poppins and Holly have a day out at the seaside. When they have a row while eating fish and chips and getting menaced by seagulls on the promenade, what is it about? Who has the train tickets and storms off with them?

It's a bit hard to storm off with the train tickets when you're a computer, and Mary Poppins would never get menaced by seagulls. I suppose it's a matter of Mary Poppins' influence vs Red Dwarf's habit of having everything that can possibly go wrong, go wrong. Holly's in his mobile form and gets stolen by a seagull who also nabs Mary Poppins's train ticket, but Mary recovers him and it's not as if she actually needed that train ticket anyway.

From daibid_c: Romana and Holly are lost in the jungle! Only Donna Moss knows where they've gone! Will Donna do anything to help, or will they be left to make their own way back? And either way, do they make it?

Well, I'm sure Donna would try to help! And she does potentially have the power of the White House to call on, although it does depend which jungle they're lost in. Still, despite Holly being a bit clueless about stuff like directions from time to time, I'm sure Romana is still equal to anything, and Holly usually does come up with the relevant information. Er. Eventually.

From [personal profile] opusculasedfera: Zen and Uvanov end up stuck next to each other on a subway train stalled in a tunnel. What do they do about it?

This sounds like another surreal story like Storm Mine. They talk. Uvanov shouts, Zen is enigmatic. Is the subway train even real? Are they there? Has the universe been destroyed? Is this all the mind? Uvanov explodes with anger at the whole damned silly scenario. Still, at least there are no killer robots or assassins or madman who aren't him around.

Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- Comments there: comment count unavailable


( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 18th, 2014 02:19 pm (UTC)
Oh, god. These came out way funnier than mine this time. (Despite the fact that, amusingly, we used some of the same characters.) I laughed until tears came to my eyes. :)
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:55 pm (UTC)
:loL: Actually, I thought yours were even funnier than mine - maybe it's the way that, by the time you've stared at them long enough to work out scenarios, they start to seem relatively sensible...

Jan. 18th, 2014 09:04 pm (UTC)
Ha, yes, eventually you're kind of thinking, "Well, of course that's what would happen. It's almost too obvious." :)
Jan. 18th, 2014 09:06 pm (UTC)
... and if you're not careful, also, "this should be a fic" and even "hang on, what have I just written?" :-)
Jan. 18th, 2014 09:07 pm (UTC)
Hee! Yes. But, of course, the world truly needed a transcript of Holly's production of Hamlet. It's just that the world didn't know it yet. :)

Edited at 2014-01-18 09:08 pm (UTC)
Jan. 18th, 2014 02:34 pm (UTC)
Steel. Ball room dancing. Yes yes yes yes yes.

Also, the entire Uvanov-and-Giles-with-a-dinosaur plot. Want.

Luckily, Giles does know quite a number of people who'd be able to handle a rampaging dinosaur when it happens.

He does. He'd actually not be bad at himself, when it comes down to it. It would probably be Ethan's fault anyway, so he'd feel obliged to handle it himself.

These things happen to Time Lords from time to time. I think this would be relatively civilised, provided Donna doesn't have to explain to Josh at any point what exactly she was doing chained to a naked woman and covered in cake in the middle of the White House. She'd never hear the end of it...

Snicker. Josh would be the happiest he's ever been. And no, he would never, ever, let it go. The quips would be epic.
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:56 pm (UTC)
Well, not that Giles wouldn't be quite a good at dinosaur-fighting himself, especially if it needs vanquishing by a lot of research and incantations and things. But there is his tendency to get bashed over the head a lot, still. Either way, the dinosaur gets stopped.

Snicker. Josh would be the happiest he's ever been. And no, he would never, ever, let it go. The quips would be epic.

Jan. 18th, 2014 02:56 pm (UTC)
Those are hilarious - putting computers in there definitely made it interesting.
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:57 pm (UTC)
I always like to include a few non-humans and generally at least one Evil Villain. (I had to give Darth Vader a rest this time, though.)

Jan. 18th, 2014 03:02 pm (UTC)
Wow, that was a weird selection I made!
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:57 pm (UTC)
Yep! That's the joy of it! :-)
Jan. 18th, 2014 03:29 pm (UTC)
LOL's all round.

LOL Romana making friends with Silver on the internet.

At last an accurate adaptation of Hamlet!
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:57 pm (UTC)
Heh, glad you enjoyed reading the nonsense! :-)
Jan. 19th, 2014 03:19 pm (UTC)
I'll have to join in after I think up some characters people might have heard of!
Jan. 19th, 2014 05:46 pm (UTC)
Heh. Cool. And you know B7 peoples, and Doctor Who and all sorts, I'm sure it'll work out. :-)
Jan. 18th, 2014 03:45 pm (UTC)
These are all brilliant. I particularly liked Holly's Hamlet.

Come to think of it, in a OUAT/Mary Poppins crossover, the seas might well be anthropomorphic...
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I just couldn't think about the scenario going any other way once someone had said the words "Holly" and "putting on Hamlet" in the same sentence.

Come to think of it, in a OUAT/Mary Poppins crossover, the seas might well be anthropomorphic...

And Mary Poppins would have every reason to be in OUaT at some point, too...
Jan. 18th, 2014 04:20 pm (UTC)
lols. A day at the seaside with la Poppins would be fantastic. Just imagine the fun you could have with that brolly! (In any normal conversation I'd have almost certainly have smutty intent with that remark, and yet for once the purely innocent reading seems more amusing.)

I think Cat would be the most fun on an outing, if anyone from Red Dwarf. Was the Cat called Cat? Boy, it's been a long time...
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:59 pm (UTC)

And yes, the Cat is just Cat or the Cat.
Jan. 18th, 2014 06:25 pm (UTC)
That was bloody great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks! It's always a fun meme to do. :-)
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:25 pm (UTC)
Steel and Mary Poppins wake up together in a perfectly boring, normal house in suburbia
Ahahaha this meme always generates the best ridiculous scenarios. :P
Jan. 18th, 2014 09:00 pm (UTC)
It really, really does. :-D
Jan. 18th, 2014 08:33 pm (UTC)
I think you deserve some sort of award for Holly's abridged Hamlet.

I'm sure Dayna's quest would be enlivened by the various concealed weapons she managed to smuggle into the dungeon. Why bother answering a Weeping Door's riddles when you can just blow it off its hinges?

I didn't specify that Romana should be naked, but I'm sure she'd take it in her stride. I can see her deciding that if she did have to dive into a cake, undressing would at least cut down on the laundry required :-)
Jan. 18th, 2014 09:00 pm (UTC)
Come to think of it, in a OUAT/Mary Poppins crossover, the
seas might well be anthropomorphic...

I know how a cake!fic is supposed to work by now! And true, yes. Perfectly logical! :-)
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )


spooks - Harry/Ruth/Bench = ♥

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