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It felt like time for a foolish meme...

So I resurrected this one:

Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return (and if inspired), I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.


If (things being what they are), snippets don't happen, I will at least describe the fic, possibly even with some slight commentary or reviews - or something.


*waits in trepidation*

Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- Comments there: comment count unavailable

Comments

( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
persiflage_1
Jul. 12th, 2014 02:10 pm (UTC)
*snorts* Oh you've asked for it!

1 - Explicit Brig/Liz/Three fic - one of those jolly old "Snowed in" trope fics.

2 - Explicit Eight/Martha fic - he runs into her during the Year That Never Was, and gives her a night she'll never forget.

3 - Explicit Harry/Ruth fic - they get tiddly and amorous and end up in bed together just a few days before Ruth's killed.
lost_spook
Jul. 12th, 2014 08:00 pm (UTC)
snorts* Oh you've asked for it!

So I did. And you're right, those are all things I would never write... *goes off to attempt a snippet of one nevertheless*

Edited at 2014-07-12 08:01 pm (UTC)
persiflage_1
Jul. 12th, 2014 08:03 pm (UTC)
*laughs* Good luck!
lolmac
Jul. 12th, 2014 04:00 pm (UTC)
LMAO -- my brain went exactly where Persiflage's did.

So, clearly, I'll have to up the ante and make it even more impossible!

Blake's 7 -- the orgy!fic -- bonus points for alien sex pollen (since Aliens Made Them Do It is actually CANON)

David Collings' guest appearance on Spongebob Squarepants (I'm assuming that you've never seen Spongebob Squarepants. That's the point.)

Explicit RPF: David Tennant and Hugh Laurie getting it on backstage during a Doctor Who/House, MD crossover special

Bwahahaha!!!!
lost_spook
Jul. 12th, 2014 07:47 pm (UTC)
LMAO -- my brain went exactly where Persiflage's did.

*shakes head at both of you*

I kind of think the spirit of the meme is to find things you think I could write but never would, not actually things I literally couldn't write. I will do my best to provide a short snippet of one of the above, which has to be the B7 one, because, yeah, you got me, I don't even know enough to write an excerpt of anything involving Spongebob!

;-p

ETA: Congratulations, I see you've got that evil laugh down to perfection these days.

Edited at 2014-07-12 08:01 pm (UTC)
lolmac
Jul. 13th, 2014 01:09 am (UTC)
Actually, I was just hoping for brief descriptions . . . because I'm betting you would find ways to subvert the prompt.

Something like this:

David Collings casually leaned against the doorpost. "Hello, Spongebob."

See? That wasn't so hard, was it? :P
lost_spook
Jul. 13th, 2014 08:04 am (UTC)
David Collings casually leaned against the doorpost. "Hello, Spongebob."

:-D

(So if I wait here for long enough, you'll write them for me? :loL:)
lolmac
Jul. 13th, 2014 04:29 pm (UTC)
ROFL -- you write the alien sex pollen orgy (snippet or description), and I swear I will find some way to completely mess up the RPF prompt for you.
lost_spook
Jul. 13th, 2014 04:31 pm (UTC)
The alien sex pollen snippet is written! (It doesn't have much sex in it, but I can choose my own extracts, right?)

*awaits the RPF with interest*
lolmac
Jul. 14th, 2014 01:36 am (UTC)
All right -- where's the ASP?
lost_spook
Jul. 14th, 2014 08:34 am (UTC)
I thought I'd collect the results into one post, so its' waiting to be joined by some more snippets. :-)

(But it shouldn't be long now.)
lolmac
Jul. 14th, 2014 12:58 pm (UTC)
*weg* Challenge accepted! I can even promise it's something you'll be able to read without covering your eyes.
lost_spook
Jul. 14th, 2014 03:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks. It is, after all, so difficult to read with your eyes covered. ;-D
lolmac
Jul. 15th, 2014 03:27 am (UTC)
Mischief managed!
jaxomsride
Jul. 12th, 2014 08:15 pm (UTC)
A Mary Sue Blake's 7 / My little pony crossover.

Once Upon a Time : If other stories are true then Alien Predators roam the woods.

Blake/Avon Vampire and werewolf AU Explicit - Prompt Mixing the breeds.

lost_spook
Jul. 13th, 2014 08:09 am (UTC)
:lol: Yes, I am fairly unlikely to write any of those, it's true...
john_amend_all
Jul. 12th, 2014 08:21 pm (UTC)
I think I'd better avoid adult-rated suggestions; I couldn't hope to compete with the ones above. How about:

1. Polly's unfaithful to Ben, or vice versa (Presumably, the wronged party would then hire Frank Marker to gather the evidence for the divorce).
2. A Sapphire and Steel boarding school or other mundane AU which actually is an AU, not Time's latest fiendish trap.
3. A fic in which the brave, saintly Richard III defeats the villainous usurper Henry Tudor, thanks to the help of Nat, Tilly and time-travelling Ricardians.

(I'm positive you'd never write "Silver is secretly on the side of evil and poisons innocent people for fun", but I thought using that as one of the three prompts would be cruel).
lost_spook
Jul. 13th, 2014 08:06 am (UTC)
A Sapphire and Steel boarding school or other mundane AU which actually is an AU, not Time's latest fiendish trap.

The Genre Mixer generator I got a load of Element prompts was actually really insistent about a boarding school AU at one time. I actually collected all the prompts together, because the idea appealed. So, that's actually thing it's crossed my head to write. But only because of the random generator. ;-)

A fic in which the brave, saintly Richard III defeats the villainous usurper Henry Tudor, thanks to the help of Nat, Tilly and time-travelling Ricardians.

It is, I have to say, very hard to imagine Tilly approving of time-travelling anyones, especially devoted Ricardians. Even less of changing the timeline.
lolmac
Jul. 13th, 2014 04:30 pm (UTC)
Sapphire and Steel boarding school or other mundane AU which actually is an AU, not Time's latest fiendish trap.

This is DIABOLICALLY FIENDISH.
sallymn
Jul. 13th, 2014 05:04 am (UTC)
I thought I'd be different.... and give you titles from some rather evil B-Movie generators I found :) You can change the fandom if you want :)

The Night She Became a Man-eating Ghost (Ummm... Jeeves and Wooster? No?)

Revenge of the Cursed Worms from Outer Space (Doctor Who, gotta be)

...and one I adapted from what they gave me...
Carry On Killer Clowns
lost_spook
Jul. 13th, 2014 08:08 am (UTC)
:loL:

Revenge of the Cursed Worms from Outer Space (Doctor Who, gotta be)

Surely this is just business as usual? :-D
oonaseckar
Jul. 13th, 2014 09:34 am (UTC)
Frank/Mrs Mortimer - full-on Brief Encounter, heaving bosoms, explicitly romantic declarations, he jumps on the train with her.

Miss Marple tries out pole-dancing classes.

Sapphire & Steel: she's in the typing pool, he's her stoic moody boss, Mills & Boon it up. chuck in people-eating monsters and alternate dimensions as necessary. Hey, they sound pretty Silhouette already...
lost_spook
Jul. 13th, 2014 11:54 am (UTC)
:loL: Er, thank you, I mean. I think. ;-D
liadtbunny
Jul. 13th, 2014 02:07 pm (UTC)
Doctor Who: One and Vicky in a shower together involving scandalous underwear scenes.

Sapphire and Steel: Silver dies in a very boring manner.

Survivors: The remaining women on Earth decide this breeding thing is a smashing idea, but who gets to impregnate them all: Greg or Denis Lill?

The Avengers: Steed has a new assistant and it's Miss Marple, unfortunately they're up against kung-fu fighting ninjas and Steed's done his ankle in. (This would be quite good actually!).
lost_spook
Jul. 13th, 2014 04:34 pm (UTC)
Doctor Who: One and Vicky in a shower together involving scandalous underwear scenes.

Liadt!! Please be careful how you spell that name (Vicki), because for one scary minute I thought that was supposed to be First Doctor/self insert fic. 0_o (Which I would be even less likely to write...)

Survivors: The remaining women on Earth decide this breeding thing is a smashing idea, but who gets to impregnate them all: Greg or Denis Lill?

I think you may be evil incarnate. (Btw, they had an episode where everybody objected to Denis Lill's breeding obsession, especially all the women, but even Greg. So I forgive them. Unless it all comes back in S3, but I think the writer who was into it has gone.)

Steed and Miss Marple is awesome! I probably wouldn't write it for fear of failing at the awesome, mind. :-)
liadtbunny
Jul. 14th, 2014 02:18 pm (UTC)
Oops, sorry:S Although definitely WNW!

Aha, it has started in Survivors already? Greg's only agreeing w/ the women so they think he's nice and can impregnate them all;)
lost_spook
Jul. 14th, 2014 03:56 pm (UTC)
No matter what else I think about Greg, no - he only wants to be with Jenny (even when she won't have sex with him to avoid having a second baby in a post-apocalyptic world).
john_amend_all
Jul. 14th, 2014 05:59 pm (UTC)
for one scary minute I thought that was supposed to be First Doctor/self insert fic.

I think that prompt could lead to a perfectly legitimate and non-scary self-insert fic. It's obviously a TTR story, where One is walking your self-insert from 'Plot and Loophole' home after the wrap party for 'Something's Out There'. It comes on to rain, so you're both forced to take shelter in the Eliott sisters' shop... only to discover Roderick Spode engaged in nefarious plagiarism of underwear designs. QED.
aralias
Jul. 13th, 2014 09:13 pm (UTC)
and i didn't contribute (bad katy), because like the rest of your f-list i think the things you wouldn't write are probably explicit sex and darkfic stuff. and i dont like darkfic either :p

otherwise i think you would write ALMOST ANYTHING ;)

but here are some suggestions of blake things i would enjoy reading that i dont think you would write without provocation.

1. blake's 7 RPF about the first days of filming series 3.

2. jenna and cally fighting to the death.

3. deva/avon adopt-a-child-together fic.
lost_spook
Jul. 14th, 2014 08:12 am (UTC)
and i didn't contribute (bad katy), because like the rest of your f-list i think the things you wouldn't write are probably explicit sex and darkfic stuff. and i dont like darkfic either :p

otherwise i think you would write ALMOST ANYTHING


:-D

I do have my limits, which people round here have spotted all too well, though...
clocketpatch
Jul. 14th, 2014 05:07 am (UTC)
Oh dear, this is a wonderful meme. Time to punish you for it!

1. B7: Mary Sue/Avon. All of the other characters die because they fail against the purity of Mary's love
2. DW: ALL of the Doctors and Companions (including Big Finish, Book, Expanded universe, Cushing, and Curse of the Fatal Death Companions and Doctors) have a massive Space!Orgy together on Pluto.
3. Miss Marple is turned into a cat while investigating vampires. She then meets Silver, who is also a cat.
lost_spook
Jul. 14th, 2014 08:13 am (UTC)
Consider me suitably punished. :-)
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )

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