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Obscure & British Commentfest 2016

Welcome to the Obscure & British comment fest IV! This is a comment fest for any small(ish) British fandom and open to all fanworks.

If you've ever loved any (non-large) British fandoms, find yourself too obscure for most fests, or you're busy wondering why there's still no Emma Peel in all this Avengers stuff, you're in the right place. Come on in and help yourself to a cup of tea and a crumpet. Also you should make prompts and fill them.

Rules & Guidelines
This commentfest works in the same way as most comment ficathons, although all kinds of fanworks are welcome. (Fanart, icons, fanmixes, vids, or whatever your creative mind can come up with or prompt for.) Just leave your prompt and/or browse through other people's prompts to see what you can fill.

1. Be polite - no bashing or shaming of anyone, or any prompts, characters, ships or fandoms! Thank you.

2. One prompt per post, please use format: Fandom(/Fandom), Character(s)/Pairing(s), prompt (i.e "Spooks, Tom/Ruth, apocalypse AU"). You may repost prompts from previous years (or even from elsewhere, as long as that's okay with the other fest/comm/whatever).

3. Post fills as replies (or links) to the comment containing the prompt. Please format the subject line as follows: Fandom - Character(s)/Pairing(s) - Ratings/Warnings (if included). There's a fills thread at the start of the post. Please also link your fill here, if you can. (I will also start up a masterlist post as soon as we have some fills.)

4. You may fill your own prompts if you wish, and multiple fills are more than welcome. (No prompt claiming needed.)

5. For crossovers any fandom is allowed as long as the first fandom qualifies. (If it's a cracky multi-fandom crossover prompt, that's fine, too, though try and make sure there are always equal or more eligible fandoms in proportion to those that are non-eligible.)

6. Any other questions - there's a questions thread at the start of the post if there's anything else you want to ask.

7. Prompt, fill, away!

Eligible Fandoms
Basically, any rare to smallish/medium British fandom, no matter how odd, old, obscure, non-existent, random or how shiny and new - anything that's not on the below list is fine. (Definitions of British are also fairly wide and hand-wavy - check on the questions thread if you're not sure.)

Non-eligible fandoms
ALL non-British fandoms are ineligible and the following fandoms are British but too large and therefore ineligible for this fest (although don't forget that you can prompt for any fandom as a crossover with an eligible fandom):

Chronicles of Narnia (all), Doctor Who (2005+), Downton Abbey, Harry Potter, The Hobbit (all), James Bond (Craig!Bond films), The Kingsman, Lord of the Rings (all), Merlin, The Musketeers (BBC), One Direction, Pride & Prejudice (all), Primeval, Robin Hood (BBC), Sherlock (BBC), Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle, The Silmarillion, Torchwood.

(RPF is welcome! Please use specific categories when prompting (e.g. history by century, and all actor/bandom RPF by individual series/film/band or whatever grouping seems most appropriate. In the spirit of the fest, please try and avoid RPF for non-eligible shows and super-popular actors like Tom Hiddleston or Benedict Cumberbatch.)

There's no closing date for prompts or fills - the fest will stay open until next year's post goes up. Once you've created a fill, you're welcome to crosspost it anywhere you like. (If you're posting to AO3, there's no collection for the fest, but there is an "Obscure & British Commentfest" tag you can use if you want.)

If you want to promote the fest, then thank you! Please do. You can find a selection of banners here, or feel free to make your own.

You can find last year's fest here. Also: O&B 2014 and O&B 2013. If you want to fill or repost a previous prompt, you may, although please also post to the fills thread on the current post.

ETA: Masterlist of Fills!

For those who don't have an LJ account, or prefer to remain anonymous, anon commenting is on!


( 624 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 5 of 9
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May. 8th, 2016 08:12 am (UTC)
Duchess of Duke Street, Louisa &/ Mary, anything
May. 8th, 2016 08:15 am (UTC)
Dracula (TV 1968), Dr Seward & Van Helsing, I don't think Van Helsing is the best mentor (or other times Van Helsing drove Dr Seward to stress and fainting etc.)

May. 8th, 2016 08:17 am (UTC)
Bleak Expectations (Radio), Mr Gently Benevolent, anything (although there should be an evil laugh)
May. 10th, 2016 12:59 am (UTC)
i'm so sorry for the offtopic, but I just have to say this - I'll be SO hoping for this one to be filled))
Mr Gently Benevolent's evil laugh is one of the sexiest most hilarious things i've ever heard! <3
(no subject) - lost_spook - May. 10th, 2016 08:23 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 8th, 2016 08:44 am (UTC)
Rivers of London / Shadow Police
Detective Inspector James Quill, discovers that The Folly has been dealing with this Wierd stuff for decades. He is not happy!
May. 8th, 2016 08:52 am (UTC)
The Restoration Series - Edward Marston, Christopher Redmayne/Jonathan Bale + Jonathan Bale/Sarah Bale, negotiating an arrangement
May. 8th, 2016 08:57 am (UTC)
Blake and Avery Adventures - MJ Carter, Jeremiah Blake/William Avery,

For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
May. 8th, 2016 08:59 am (UTC)
Shardlake Series - CJ Sansom, Tamasin/Jack Barak/Matthew Shardlake, three in a bed
May. 8th, 2016 09:03 am (UTC)
The Bone Thief - VM Whitworth, Wulfgar/Ronan,

And to sleep under the stars, who could ask for more
With the moon keeping watch over me
May. 8th, 2016 09:05 am (UTC)
The IT Crowd, Roy/Moss,

It's just a little crush
Not like I faint, every time we touch
May. 8th, 2016 09:36 am (UTC)
Blake's 7. The crew of the Liberator (or Scorpio, your pick), discovers that people have begun writing "fanfiction" about Blake and his ragtag crew of rebels. What are the main ships? How do the crew react? Just how OOC is everyone written? Bonus points for reading scenes aloud on the flight deck. (Prefer it to not be Blake/Avon, but if that's what inspires you then go ahead.)
May. 8th, 2016 04:52 pm (UTC)
Blake's 7, The Liberator Crew discovers fanfic, G, 943 words
“I’ve got a nasty feeling. You know. Ominous.”

Avon directed a carefully bored glance in Vila’s direction. “And what is it about this time? Cally been threatening to make you clean up your quarters?”

“Orac’s been quiet for hours,” said Vila. “Every time I poke at him, he tells me to go away. Now, don’t tell me that’s not ominous. That’s always ominous.”

Avon opened his mouth in preparation to sneer, and then hesitated. He hadn’t instructed Orac to do anything. That was ominous.

“Orac, what are you up to?”

Orac merely ignored Avon, flickering its lights and making a whirring sound.

“All right, I’ll rephrase the question: what have you been doing for the past six hours?”

“Downloading data. Most fascinating.”

“What data?” Avon waited and then glared. “Orac!”

“Example data now on visual,” said Orac. There was a distinct edge of smugness in its voice that should really have warned the crew.

Avon looked up at the flightdeck’s screen, and read: “’You’re trapped now, in this cave. At least the companys good you say to yourself as you look at the man with you. He’s tall with curly hair and a nice smile as you now learn as you look at him. You realise something else, its Blake the rebel leader’ - Orac, is this news of Blake?”

“Doesn’t sound like it,” said Vila, who was busy reading on. He raised his eyebrows. “Nope. Definitely doesn’t sound like it.”

Avon carefully avoided reading any further. “Wait, this is merely fiction of some kind, isn’t it?”

“About Blake?” said Dayna.

Avon nodded. “I’ve seen this sort of thing before. Famous figures or fictional characters being written about by their admirers. The only thing this has in common with Blake isn’t that unofficial fiction like this is hated by the Federation too.”

“Are there stories about all of us?” Dayna asked, suddenly enthusiastic. “Or is it just Blake?”

“Blake and the Liberator are famous. Your names are known but in some cases, little more than the name is known. The fictional results do not tally with the facts.”

Avon paused. “Please remove this from the screen, Orac. It’s of no importance and we’re not interested.”

Orac amused itself by calculating how long it would be before each individual crew member returned to ask for private access to the downloaded material. His predictions were, to his eternal smugness, pretty much correct.

“I’m not fair haired,” said Vila, in Cally’s cabin. “And my jokes are better than that! And I’d never date Avon. I’m not impressed by his legs. Or his attitude. Or anything about him.”

Cally sighed, but her mind was more occupied with drafting a correction to several authors who seemed to have not the first idea of how telepathy worked on Auronar. There were others, she noted with a certain wry enjoyment who seemed to imagine that an Auron was rather more biologically diverse from humans than seemed to her to be the case. “Really, Vila. Just ignore it.”

“The Federation shouldn’t put out misleading wanted material, that’s what it is. That viscast they’ve got of me’s horrible. I look like the sort of person who’d make unfunny jokes.”

“It’s not all that hard to believe, Vila,” said Cally, and returned to crafting the last sentence of her constructive criticism.

May. 8th, 2016 09:41 am (UTC)
The Hour/Agent Carter: Lix Storm and Peggy Carter. War correspondent meets spy, under fire. Gen.
May. 8th, 2016 10:41 am (UTC)
The Professionals, Bodie/Doyle, "hold on a moment, did they just call us obscure and British?"
Jun. 11th, 2016 10:59 am (UTC)
Professionals - Bodie/Doyle
Many an Obscure Past
by Slantedlight

post-Man Without a Past
It had gone swimmingly until the fifth pint, Bodie thought later, a coup for Anglo-American relations, and just what he’d needed to celebrate Doyle’s release from hospital, and the Yanks finally being free enough of Brian Forrest that they could go home. They’d talked about women, football - both kinds - and how pizza should be made properly rather than unwrapped for the oven from the freezer. Doyle had even promised to try it at home. And then, disastrously, they had somehow slipped into comparing jobs.


“Never would have thought you British guys had so many of those secret departments,” Braddock said at last. “You got one for every colour in the box, don’t you? Tiny little things, no one knows about, tiny little obscure people, all secret. No one knows about…” He trailed off, lifted his glass, gazed at it for a moment and then drank. Fifth pint, Bodie reminded himself, amused.

It really might have been alright if he hadn’t immediately decided to wind the man up.

He glanced at Doyle. "Hold on a moment,” he began, in his best upper-drawer vowels, “did they just call us obscure and British?"

Doyle’s eyes didn’t waiver from the besuited agents. “I think they did. You offended?”

“Expect better from our compatriots overseas, our colleagues. Obscure!”

“Obscure…” Doyle glanced at Bodie consideringly. “Dunno about obscure. Abstract maybe…”

“What the ‘ell do you mean abstract?” Bodie raised an eyebrow. “Anyway, more of an Old Master, me.”

Cowley’s an old master - you’re more…” Doyle paused, took a mouthful of beer. Paused again, and drank again.

“More what, sunshine? Come on, we’re on tenterthooks here.”

“Look, I have no clue what you guys are on,” Haskell interrupted. “What the hell’s a tenterhook when it’s at home?”

Doyle shook his head. “Not at home. Get very messy, that. He should know.” He looked at Bodie.

“We’re not British either,” Bodie said helpfully.

“Excuse me?” Haskell rolled his eyes. It had already been a long night, and he’d forgotten there was so much more beer in a pint glass.

“He’s Scouse,” Doyle said helpfully. “You don’t wanna call him British.”

“That right? And what are you then?”

“English,” Doyle said promptly. “Me father’s father’s father’s… ‘ang about, I’ve just thought.”

“Your old man was a lying bastard who’d rob a blind man’s stick.” Bodie nodded encouragingly, then glanced at Braddock and Haskell. “I’ve ‘eard it before.” He turned back to his partner. “Go on. What genius thought has crossed those pretty green eyes now?”

Braddock and Haskell both rolled their eyes.

“Well, ‘e might not ‘ave been English at all, might he? I mean - he might not have been me father, come to that.”

“Except for the haircut and the mushy pea eyes.”

“Well, except for that. But maybe I’m not English either.”

Bodie gazed at his partner, looked intrigued. “What are you, then?”

...continued below...
May. 8th, 2016 11:27 am (UTC)
The Persuaders, Daniel Wilde/Brett Sinclair, "Danny is obscure and I am british!"
May. 8th, 2016 02:49 pm (UTC)
The Persuaders-Daniel Wilde/Brett Sinclair-"Danny is obscure and I am British!"
Lady Winifred was not pleased. “When Judge Fulton promised to assist me, I assumed he would send some British investigators with an understanding of the social milieu.” She looked over Brett’s shoulder at where Danny was standing on a settee, staring at the wall. “I was not expecting some obscure American thrillseeker I know nothing about.”

“Hey, lady,” Danny interrupted distractedly. “I’ve been called a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them.”

“That’s ‘obtuse,’ Daniel,” Brett corrected gently. “I do apologise, Lady Winifred, if you feel you have been misled. I can attest that Daniel, in fact, has achieved a certain level of notoriety, but perhaps not of the sort you would encounter in your social circles. But even if Daniel is obscure from your perspective, I can assure you that I am very British indeed.”

“I suppose it will have to do,” Lady Winifred sighed, eyeing Danny as though she half expected him to nick the silver. “Why does he refuse to remove his gloves?”

“He has his reasons,” Brett intoned. “To be perfectly honest, I’m not entirely certain what they are, but—“

“Hey, Your Lordship.” Danny’s face was pressed right against the wall by this point. “Look at this.”

“Excuse me.” Brett smiled reassuringly and strode to Danny’s side. “What is it Daniel?”

“Get up here.” Brett sighed and clamboured onto the settee next to his friend. Danny leaned back and pointed at one of the large cabbage roses decorating the wallpaper. “Look at this.”

Brett did, leaning in to press his face against the wall. A small lens looked back at him. He regarded Danny in alarm. “A camera! She’s under surveillance.”

Danny turned to Lady Winifred triumphantly. “Still think I’m obtuse, Your Ladyship?”

“Obscure, Daniel.”
May. 8th, 2016 01:39 pm (UTC)
The ten stupidest things I've heard since Richard III's remains were identified.

It's funny how Leicester City Football Club beat 5000-1 odds to come top of the league isn't it?
May. 8th, 2016 05:23 pm (UTC)
May. 8th, 2016 01:42 pm (UTC)
Henry VI; Margaret of Anjou/Richard Plantagenet Duke of York, "Wouldn't we have made a great team?"
May. 8th, 2016 02:09 pm (UTC)
Doctor Who / Sense & Sensibility, Six & Mrs Jennings, matchmaking.
May. 8th, 2016 02:39 pm (UTC)
Midsomer Murders/Lewis, Barnaby and Lewis teaming up to investigate murders on both sides of the Oxfordshire/Midsomer borders.
May. 8th, 2016 03:08 pm (UTC)
Blake's 7, Soolin, Send the cake back.
May. 8th, 2016 03:52 pm (UTC)
Call the Midwife, Patsy/Delia, someone at Nonnatus House almost discovers their relationship
May. 8th, 2016 03:53 pm (UTC)
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Lazenby!Bond), Bond/Tracy - Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
May. 9th, 2016 04:27 pm (UTC)
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Lazenby!Bond)-Bond/Tracy-Better by far you should forget and smile
Bond forgets about Tracy, much to his shame.

It’s not that he’s surprised he can. Bond has endured so much pain over the years—physical, mental, emotional—going right back to his childhood, to his parents, before and after they died. He knows all the tricks to keep it at bay—detach, compartmentalise, distract. Distraction works particularly well. It got him through the first few days, after the initial shock had worn off. His brain had struggled to reconcile the sudden turn in events—unadulterated joy with a radiant Tracy by his side, then absolute despair when he turned to find her riddled with bullets. He’d held her hand, whispered to her quietly about her and him and them, all their plans, the children they would have had, the adventures that would never be experienced. Final private moments in a life cut short—hers, theirs—where he made sure she was loved, before the phone call and the people swarming around, asking questions as her scarf fluttered in the summer breeze.

The next two weeks were a blur. It was impossible to forget about Tracy, because she was at the centre of everything. The statement he made, the search for Blofeld, the devastating call to Draco with the inevitably inadequate apology for failing to keep her safe, as he promised he would. Draco assured him repeatedly, despite his own grief, that there was nothing to apologise for, that Bond had done nothing but right by her, had saved her from herself; that Tracy had finally been happy in the end because of him, and that was more than any of them could have hoped for. Bond would smile sadly and nod, but all he could think was, “They were after me. They wanted me. It should have been me. She loved me, and she paid dearly for it.”

There was the inevitable funeral, and the eulogy, and Bond did right by her as best he could, while knowing it would always be horribly inadequate. There was the agonising decision about what to do with the wedding gifts, the props for a life he would never have, which Moneypenny had graciously helped him deal with. And when it was all over, when there was nothing left of the tragedy to square away, Bond sat in his flat and finally allowed himself to weep for and mourn her and all they had lost, until there was nothing left except that horrible hollow feeling in his chest. The next day, he went to work and pretended not to see the concerned or sympathetic expressions worn by Moneypenny, Q, and M. His leave was nowhere near up, but Bond was resolute. “I want to come back.”

“Are you quite sure about that, 007? You really must clear your head before you carry on.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” Bond shot back. M looked uncertain, but agreed. Bond went back to work, and forgot.

The job was good for forgetting. There was always another distraction—a drink, a girl, a fight. Gambling, hotels, flights; another henchman to dispatch, another terrorist to put down. A double-0 lived so fast there was no time to think, no time to remember. If he did it long enough, it became a habit, even on days off, to not think about Tracy, not think about what could have been. He could almost pretend it had never happened, that they had never met.


He sees flashes of her sometimes. A woman’s hair shining in the sun, a smile with that familiar hint of sadness, a scarf fluttering in the breeze. They make him smile, and for a moment he remembers her bright spirit without the corresponding pain. He wonders if she would be more upset if he forgot about her entirely, or if he mourned her daily. He’s not certain either course of action does her justice, wishes he could ask her, could talk to her, just for a little while, let her guide him in what he should do.

But maybe she has. Tracy experienced so much pain in her life, Bond can’t believe she would want to be associated with more in death. He knows he can’t forget her, not really, not always, no matter how hard he works, how many distractions he brings into his life. Her place in his heart is secure, and so is the pain.

But once in awhile, he sees her in his dreams. There is no pain there. And they have all the time in the world.
May. 8th, 2016 05:41 pm (UTC)
Red Dwarf. Rimmer finds Lister's diary. After gloating about it and reading passages aloud to anyone who will listen, he discovers it's actually a catalog of Lister's favorite foods. (Or some other funny alternative.)
May. 8th, 2016 06:21 pm (UTC)
Doctor Who, Leela/Toos, Leela ends up going back to find Toos... What happens next? (Hurt/comfort or fluff welcome)
May. 9th, 2016 05:57 pm (UTC)
Wandering Savage, G, Doctor Who, Leela/Toos, Leela goes back to Toos
“Toos? TOOS….”

Leela is at the woman’s side in minutes, staring up at the inactive robot that stands by the bed, her eyes narrowing before she moves, pushing it well away and into a corner, aware that, should Toos wake she would more than likely panic.

She is back on the bed by the time Toos wakes, emitting a shrill, panicked cry and burying her head into Leela’s chest as she had before, weakly sobbing. Her wrist is still wrapped in the silver bandage and Leela sighs, stroking her hair gently. She hates that the creepy mechanical men have caused such a break in Toos’ strength.

After a while Toos is silent, still shivering but no longer crying. They leave then, Leela guiding Toos away.

They meet again, years later, in Kaldor City and Toos is once again in danger. The Doctor, of course, helps stop it. By the end Leela is aware only that Toos has spoken to protect her, threatening someone with having their kneecaps broken. She should not be proud of the threat, but she is.

She leaves Toos again, then, when she is given the option to leave Gallifrey where she has ended up living, she leaves, makes her way to home, to Toos. She isn’t sure when Toos became home, but she doesn’t care.

Toos is silent when she arrives, sleeping. Leela edges into the room, shutting the door as quietly as possible. Toos has forgone the usual programmable locks and so Leela props a chair beneath the door handle, a trick the Doctor once taught her.

Toos wakes with a stifled cry and Leela moves from the shadows to sit on the bed, their eyes meeting before Toos once again buries her face into Leela’s chest, shivering pathetically. Leela used to have no time for such women but now… now she can’t help but love Toos. They are not in Kaldor here so, she hopes, she will have no need to protect Toos from Mechanical Men. Should she need to, however, she will stay and guard Toos. If not, she shall simply live with her, by her side.
May. 8th, 2016 06:22 pm (UTC)
Countermeasures, Rachel/Allison, Allison tries to make Nitro-9... needless to say she ends up homing with Rachel (she may have blown up her own home)
May. 9th, 2016 05:22 pm (UTC)
Tick, Tick, Tick... Boom, Countermeasures, Rachel/Allison, Nitro-9


Rachel smiles slightly as she takes in the girl’s bedraggled appearance and obvious misery. She knows all too well what probably happened, but she asks anyway.

“What on earth….”

“I tried to…. It kind of…. I’m a little homeless…. And I’m fairly sure Nitro-9 should be easy to make…”

Rachel finds herself laughing slightly.

“Oh Allison…. Come on… you can stay with me until we can find you a new home…”

“Do I… have to?”

“Which part is causing the problem?”

Allison smiles, finally relenting and coming inside, aware how dirty and ragged she is.

“Leaving… you have such a lovely home…”

“It is a little… lonely….”

Allison smirks, then, quite to her surprise, leans to kiss Rachel, smiling when Rachel pulls her closer.

“So don’t send me away…”
May. 8th, 2016 06:22 pm (UTC)
Tenko, Marion/Any ( flashbacks to Rose/Blanche welcomed but not needed desperately), After Marion finally comes home she finds comfort in someone who survived a different camp... and it's not her husband.
May. 9th, 2016 06:11 pm (UTC)
After Everything, M, Tenko, Marion/OFC, Marion finds comfort in a new friend.
People watch as she enters the room and yet, Marion can’t bring herself to care. She knows Rose would care, would tell her to keep her head held high, Blanche would have told her to tell them to fuck off or some other rich variation on the same theme, and she finds she smiles at her memories. She is still too thin, still aware how painfully thin she is, but she is beginning to heal, slowly. She is clean, now, too, really clean.

Her husband had done his best to be a comfort, to help her settle in, but she finds it harder to pretend to care now. She is happier either alone or with others who understand. Eventually she does leave her husband, unable to find a common ground any longer.
She is alone when she comes here, the survivor meetings, designed to help them come home and settle. She is better alone, less nervous, able to be honest about her feelings in the meetings, and yet… she wishes she had someone.

Then, suddenly, there is someone. Gianna, a British girl with an Italian father. She too is bone-thin, weary and bright-eyed and fearful. Gianna, also, is alone. She cries in a meeting, talking about her friend who died of gun wounds, and Marion finds herself also crying, remembering everything of Rose’s suffering. When it is her turn, she talks about Blanche, and again cries. Someone moves closer and she finds she is staring at Gianna, talking to her alone, Gianna is also crying, then, when Marion finishes, Gianna names her friend, also lost to the same rotten disease.

They mirror each other, Gianna too had been married and Gianna too had found it impossible to pretend to care for the ridiculous rules. Slowly, the two become close and Marion finds deeper comfort in Gianna than she had ever expected. They begin to meet outside the survivor meetings, Marion inviting Gianna to spend a night at home with her.

She is crying, writhing and suddenly awake, her scream louder than usual. Slim arms close around her waist and she sinks back, taking the comfort Gianna willingly offers. Gianna surprises her by curling tight around her and kissing her neck, suddenly making it clear she wants more than friendship. Marion finds she too is more than happy to consider it.
May. 8th, 2016 09:11 pm (UTC)
Yes Minister, Humphrey/Hacker. Anything would be great really, but I'd especially love a Humphrey angst-fest in which he realizes he's fallen head over heels for Hacker (Hacker who's a man! Hacker who's a philistine! Hacker who went to the LSE!), thus turning his whole internal world inside out.
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( 624 comments — Leave a comment )


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