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Obscure & British Commentfest 2016

Welcome to the Obscure & British comment fest IV! This is a comment fest for any small(ish) British fandom and open to all fanworks.



If you've ever loved any (non-large) British fandoms, find yourself too obscure for most fests, or you're busy wondering why there's still no Emma Peel in all this Avengers stuff, you're in the right place. Come on in and help yourself to a cup of tea and a crumpet. Also you should make prompts and fill them.


Rules & Guidelines
This commentfest works in the same way as most comment ficathons, although all kinds of fanworks are welcome. (Fanart, icons, fanmixes, vids, or whatever your creative mind can come up with or prompt for.) Just leave your prompt and/or browse through other people's prompts to see what you can fill.

1. Be polite - no bashing or shaming of anyone, or any prompts, characters, ships or fandoms! Thank you.

2. One prompt per post, please use format: Fandom(/Fandom), Character(s)/Pairing(s), prompt (i.e "Spooks, Tom/Ruth, apocalypse AU"). You may repost prompts from previous years (or even from elsewhere, as long as that's okay with the other fest/comm/whatever).

3. Post fills as replies (or links) to the comment containing the prompt. Please format the subject line as follows: Fandom - Character(s)/Pairing(s) - Ratings/Warnings (if included). There's a fills thread at the start of the post. Please also link your fill here, if you can. (I will also start up a masterlist post as soon as we have some fills.)

4. You may fill your own prompts if you wish, and multiple fills are more than welcome. (No prompt claiming needed.)

5. For crossovers any fandom is allowed as long as the first fandom qualifies. (If it's a cracky multi-fandom crossover prompt, that's fine, too, though try and make sure there are always equal or more eligible fandoms in proportion to those that are non-eligible.)

6. Any other questions - there's a questions thread at the start of the post if there's anything else you want to ask.

7. Prompt, fill, away!


Eligible Fandoms
Basically, any rare to smallish/medium British fandom, no matter how odd, old, obscure, non-existent, random or how shiny and new - anything that's not on the below list is fine. (Definitions of British are also fairly wide and hand-wavy - check on the questions thread if you're not sure.)


Non-eligible fandoms
ALL non-British fandoms are ineligible and the following fandoms are British but too large and therefore ineligible for this fest (although don't forget that you can prompt for any fandom as a crossover with an eligible fandom):

Chronicles of Narnia (all), Doctor Who (2005+), Downton Abbey, Harry Potter, The Hobbit (all), James Bond (Craig!Bond films), The Kingsman, Lord of the Rings (all), Merlin, The Musketeers (BBC), One Direction, Pride & Prejudice (all), Primeval, Robin Hood (BBC), Sherlock (BBC), Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle, The Silmarillion, Torchwood.

(RPF is welcome! Please use specific categories when prompting (e.g. history by century, and all actor/bandom RPF by individual series/film/band or whatever grouping seems most appropriate. In the spirit of the fest, please try and avoid RPF for non-eligible shows and super-popular actors like Tom Hiddleston or Benedict Cumberbatch.)


There's no closing date for prompts or fills - the fest will stay open until next year's post goes up. Once you've created a fill, you're welcome to crosspost it anywhere you like. (If you're posting to AO3, there's no collection for the fest, but there is an "Obscure & British Commentfest" tag you can use if you want.)


If you want to promote the fest, then thank you! Please do. You can find a selection of banners here, or feel free to make your own.

You can find last year's fest here. Also: O&B 2014 and O&B 2013. If you want to fill or repost a previous prompt, you may, although please also post to the fills thread on the current post.

ETA: Masterlist of Fills!

For those who don't have an LJ account, or prefer to remain anonymous, anon commenting is on!

Comments

spikesgirl58
May. 7th, 2016 01:18 pm (UTC)
Hmm, okay I'll give it a try

Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, a very hard sale.
lost_spook
May. 7th, 2016 01:31 pm (UTC)
LOL!!
spikesgirl58
May. 7th, 2016 01:42 pm (UTC)
I just hope someone takes up that gauntlet! :D
lost_spook
May. 7th, 2016 04:13 pm (UTC)
It would be an epic challenge to do it justice! ;-)
spikesgirl58
May. 7th, 2016 06:33 pm (UTC)
That's true, but well done, what a hoot.
count_nickula
May. 9th, 2016 07:14 am (UTC)
Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
(I laughed for about 5 million minutes at your prompt, I hope I've managed to do it some small justice!)

>>>Steel, I'm detecting an ethereal presence, there's definitely something odd about this place.<<
Sapphire walked slowly around the floor of the department store, scanning the shoppers and staff, listening intently to something unknown. >>Time early 1970s. Building mid 19th century, refurbished in the '20s, then further in the '50s.<<


Steel listened from the other side of the shop floor, one hand hovering just above the fabric of a steel grey suit.

“Ohhh, very nice.”

Steel turned at the sound and regarded the man carefully. “Excuse me?”

The silver-haired man had quickly lifted his gaze from Steel's arse and smiled a gap-tooth smile at him. “I'm Mr. Humphries, gentlemen's outfitters. That suit is a very fine choice, sir. Now, we have it in various shades, but The Steel would be particularly suited to your colouring. The wool is the finest and the softest, just feel that. Lovely isn't it? Just like cuddling a sheep!”

Steel began to reply, “I'm not interested in-”

Mr Humphries was in front of him in a flash, a yellow tape measure snaking around Steel's waist. “Now, we'll just take some measurements. My goodness, you do take good care of yourself.” Mr. Humphries beamed as he drew in the tape measure to a snug fit. “Shoulders next. I'll bet you look just as good in shirtsleeves, too. Sir, if I may say so, that tie is divine, we also have an extensive collection that is sure to meet your approval.”

Steel frowned as the man moved quickly behind him. Normally, he'd be able to simply glare at trifling problems like this human until they backed away slowly, leaving him to focus on more important issues, but somehow he was unable to. He attempted to protest again, “I'm not here for-”

“For long? Quick shopping trip during your lunch hour? Oh, it won't take very long. One last measurement, sir.”


In the midst of a riot of lingerie, Sapphire posed before a mirror, fully aware of the maintenance man watching her surreptitiously as he fiddled with a mannequin's arm. She smiled and held up a pair of red, lacy knickers, grinning even more as the mannequin toppled over onto the floor, leaving the man flailing about with the dummy's disembodied arms. She turned slightly and spoke into the mirror, “I'd offer you a hand, Mr. Mash, but you already seem to have a few extra.”

Mr. Mash winked back at her and collected the mannequin, scurrying away as Captain Peacock walked imperiously by.


From across the room, Sapphire suddenly sensed a distinct >>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<<

Sapphire flashed across the room, preparing to assist Steel out of whatever trap he'd walked into. >>Steel?<<

Sapphire took in the scene. Steel was unharmed, but he had a look of distinct alarm on his face. He looked down, perplexed, and Sapphire followed his gaze. Kneeling before Steel, Mr. Humphries removed the tape measure and jotted down a number, muttering happily to himself. “Inside leg, 29 inches.”



They never did solve the mystery, but a mystified Steel did end up leaving with 3 rather decent suits. To the end of time, Sapphire could never get an answer why.



Edited at 2016-05-09 07:56 am (UTC)
lost_spook
May. 9th, 2016 07:59 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
:lol That was great! :-)
count_nickula
May. 10th, 2016 08:36 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Thanks, I think your icon sums it all up! <3
spikesgirl58
May. 9th, 2016 12:03 pm (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Oh, this is brilliant and I fall to my knees in helpless laughter. I could not have asked for anything more and I can just seem the look on Steel's face.

Tremendous job - thank you from the bottom of my S&S/AYBS heart! - May I either link or repost this in the S&S community (giving you full credit, of course)?
count_nickula
May. 10th, 2016 08:35 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
It was an absolute pleasure to write, but I'll never look at Steel's suits the same way again, alas. I've also been having flashbacks to 70s tv since last night, so thanks for that. ;)

Yes, feel free to link or repost!
spikesgirl58
May. 10th, 2016 11:46 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Thanks so much! I have reposted in my journal and to the sapphire_steel community.

You are so very welcome and thanks a hundred times more! :D
timelessapeel
May. 9th, 2016 01:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Ha, ha, this is brilliant! I love Steel's reaction--he knows something's not quite right, but he just can't quite put his finger on it.

Does anyone at the store think that Sapphire bears a striking resemblance to Miss French the perfume saleswoman (or any of Joanna Lumley's other guest roles) I wonder?

But the real question is: How did Steel pay for those suits? Do elements have expense accounts? ;-)

This was brilliantly funny. Thank you!
count_nickula
May. 10th, 2016 09:11 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Thanks!

I suspect Steel didn't even consider the idea of payment and Silver flitted in, conjured up some cash from a few spare buttons, a half-used biro, and a hairclip, slipped the money in Steel's pocket and flittered away again!
timelessapeel
May. 10th, 2016 01:03 pm (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Sounds perfectly plausible to me! Knowing Silver, he was probably watching the show and having a good laugh about it. More than worth conjuring up some money for. ;-)
liadtbunny
May. 9th, 2016 02:26 pm (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Bravo:)
count_nickula
May. 10th, 2016 09:14 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Cheers!
farad
May. 9th, 2016 08:24 pm (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Wickedly good! And very nicely done - thanks for sharing!
count_nickula
May. 10th, 2016 09:15 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. <3
grey853
May. 10th, 2016 03:59 pm (UTC)
Nice job.
ragnarok_08
May. 10th, 2016 06:51 pm (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
This was fantastic <333
sidhe_uaine42
May. 10th, 2016 11:40 pm (UTC)
RE: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
It's a good thing that I wasn't drinking my Irish cream-flavoured cocoa when I read this story because the campus computer lab monitors frown on cocoa - infused spit on the electronics. I was laughing so hard that I was crying. You captured Mr. Humphries perfectly!

Edited at 2016-05-10 11:41 pm (UTC)
luminousdaze
May. 12th, 2016 12:56 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
So funny!
alton_lust
May. 12th, 2016 05:34 am (UTC)
Re: Sapphire and Steel/Are You Being Served, Steel + Mr. Humphries, A Very Hard Sale.
LOL Wonderful job. I can picture it perfectly

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